I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think a kid would responsible me up
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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