shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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