If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
