oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
