What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
