Nicole vs. Life
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
