I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
