toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
