sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
