you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
