if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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