i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
