lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
