New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Im part way to drunk.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
