Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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