Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I bet he comes in French.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
