no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
