totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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