i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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