Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
