careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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