2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
