Sry I called you an 8
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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