And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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