sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
