I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
