that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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