Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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