Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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