I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
