Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
