I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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