How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
