Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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