How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
