Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
