I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
