I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
