Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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