I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
