Sry I called you an 8
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
