from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
