where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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