I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
