Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
