i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
