No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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