If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
