We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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