I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
