if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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